This bathroom bill debacle is getting tired. I’m so sick of hearing about it!! I recently watched a video a friend shared on her wall regarding this issue, and I found myself wanting to smash my phone.

Here is said video:


I sat here and read through each and every comment contained on the post. All the comments, and the replies to said comments. I was ASTOUNDED at the complete and utter LACK of education on the part of these people!! While it was nice to see some logical arguments and devil’s advocate stances from some folks…. ok, really only ONE person…. the rest of them kept putting up arguments that clearly showed they were missing the point, and even ping-ponged it back around to rest on President Obama’s shoulders as the cause of it all!!  WHAT?!?! YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS!!!

Many argued that they did not feel this was a civil rights issue, and even went so far as to blast someone who likened it to civil rights at all.  HOW can people be so blind?? Lets take a minute to define civil rights and human rights, shall we??  Cornell University’s Law School defines “civil rights” as: “A civil right is an enforceable right or privilege, which if interfered with by another gives rise to an action for injury. Examples of civil rights are freedom of speech, press, and assembly; the right to vote; freedom from involuntary servitude; and the right to equality in public places. Discrimination occurs when the civil rights of an individual are denied or interfered with because of their membership in a particular group or class. Various jurisdictions have enacted statutes to prevent discrimination based on a person’s race, sex, religion, age, previous condition of servitude, physical limitation, national origin, and in some instances sexual orientation.”  Not Wikipedia. Not some satirical website. CORNELL SCHOOL OF LAW. I’d say that the definition of civil rights is pretty CLEAR. SO….how is denying someone access to the BATHROOM that corresponds with their gender NOT a violation of their civil rights again?? Please. Tell me.  Ok, then… Lets go a step further…. how about HUMAN RIGHTS?? Welllllll…. the UN Human Rights Office of the High Commissioner’s website defines HUMAN rights as follows: Human rights are rights inherent to all human beings, whatever our nationality, place of residence, sex, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, language, or any other status. We are all equally entitled to our human rights without discrimination. These rights are all interrelated, interdependent and indivisible.  Universal human rights are often expressed and guaranteed by law, in the forms of treaties, customary international law , general principles and other sources of international law. International human rights law lays down obligations of Governments to act in certain ways or to refrain from certain acts, in order to promote and protect human rights and fundamental freedoms of individuals or groups.”  I mean….I don’t have a law degree, nor do I specialize in human or civil rights, BUT…at its CORE, it sounds pretty cut and dry to me.

The friggin US DEPARTMENT OF LABOR has anti-discrimination laws!!! WHY NOT THROW THOSE OUT?!! Let’s back up, just for one second…ok, maybe more than a “second.”  The US Declaration of Independence has this catchy little phrase in it right in the beginning. It says: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.” People…if we go back to the basic fundamental principles this country was FOUNDED ON, we are doing ourselves a GROSS disservice by forgetting what RIGHTS actually are! It’s ALL right there! It doesn’t say: “All men are created equal, only if you aren’t gay or transgender. If you are, these rights don’t apply to you so skip to Article…blah blah blah.”

The USDOL website states as follows: “Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits discrimination in employment on the basis of race, color, sex, or ethnic origin” (there’s that TERM again…!) IN FACT, the USDOL has a CIVIL RIGHTS OFFICE, which in turn has a commission for such things… you may all be familiar with it. It’s called the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Within its articles is something that SPECIFICALLY address the LGBT protections that the US GOVERNMENT deemed as law. IT states: “EEOC interprets and enforces Title VII’s prohibition of sex discrimination as forbidding any employment discrimination based on gender identity or sexual orientation.  These protections apply regardless of any contrary state or local laws.”  There you have it, folks!! It also gives some very specific examples of sex discrimination; for example: (https://www.eeoc.gov/eeoc/newsroom/wysk/enforcement_protections_lgbt_workers.cfm)

So explain to me this: if there are laws that protect people in the WORKPLACE, then WHY is it wrong to protect them OUTSIDE of the workplace?? WHY should people, who are exactly who they are whether they are at work or out of work, get any different treatment WHEREVER they go?! Why should they be LAWFULLY afforded the right to use the bathroom that corresponds with their GENDER identity at WORK, but be shamed for it at TARGET???

We, as a society, have DIVIDED ourselves into varying groups: it started with men and women, then it was groups by race, then it was democrat and republican, then gay, lesbian, straight, & bisexual (hinting to each individual sexual preference)… Now there are even MORE labels: transgender (trans male/trans female; pre-op/post-op– because I guess that MATTERS???!!), pansexual, CISgender…and on and on. NEVERMIND dividing people even further by socio-economic status!!  By doing so, we have stripped millions of people of their core identity as human beings!!! AND WHEN DID THIS BECOME OKAY?!?! When did we become a society who likes to whine and cry about the state of this country and how civil rights are violated when we need to create stiffer GUN CONTROL LAWS, or because of the atrocities committed on 9/11 that we need to create better screening practices both online and on the ground, but when a person cannot use the bathroom without being imposed upon, we say it isn’t a matter of civil rights?! ARE WE ON THE SAME PLANET?!?! THE HUMAN RIGHTS LAWS ARE INTER-FUCKING-NATIONAL!!!! Human rights are “guaranteed by law and…lays down OBLIGATIONS of governments to act in certain ways or to refrain from certain acts…TO PROTECT HUMAN RIGHTS AND FUNDAMENTAL FREEDOMS OF INDIVIDUALS OR GROUPS.”  Shit!! That pretty much spells it out RIGHT THERE. SO WHY IS THERE A DEBATE?!! WHY are people FREAKING OUT over Obama DOING HIS JOB (as spelled out by the UNITED NATIONS) and making laws that FORCE governmentally sanctioned organizations (i.e.: SCHOOLS) to PROTECT those rights and then say that only TRANS folks’ rights are being protected and STRAIGHT FOLKS’ AREN’T!!!!  WHY IS THIS EVEN AN ARGUMENT?!?! WHY HAVE ANY DISCRIMINATION LAWS THEN?!?! FUCK IT!!! DO AWAY WITH THE 9TH AMENDMENT ALTOGETHER!!! TITLE 9??? SCREW IT!!! WE DON’T NEED EQUAL RIGHTS IN THE WORKPLACE!!!

One of the commenters- a black man- on the video made a reference to the Civil Rights Movement of the 60’s, the plight of the Native Americans post discovery, and also women’s rights. He states: “There was once a truth that the savages in the americas were just that, and needed to be converted or killed. There was once a truth that said my father couldn’t drink from the same water fountain as a white person. There was once a truth that said said women belonged in the kitchen and weren’t intelligent enough to vote…” And I have to say…he is right. This country has grown, and changed and moved with the times as seen fit by our government.  Society isn’t meant to be concrete. We learn, we evolve (we hope we do anyway), we change laws that are unfit, unjust and unfair… yet… we still haven’t learned that sex and gender are not concrete things.  They are not synonomous. They never were. The APA (American Psychological Association) has defined both quite effectively:  “Sex refers to a person’s biological status and is typically categorized as male, female, or intersex (i.e., atypical combinations of features that usually distinguish male from female). There are a number of indicators of biological sex, including sex chromosomes, gonads, internal reproductive organs, and external genitalia.  Gender refers to the attitudes, feelings, and behaviors that a given culture associates with a person’s biological sex…” What that tells us is: just because someone is born with a penis, doesn’t mean that their brain agrees. Just because our CULTURE decides what is masculine and/or feminine, doesn’t mean that is what a person’s sex is. And just because a person is transgender, doesn’t make them perverts or dangerous nor does it mean that men dress up as women to accost women and children in bathrooms!!! I feel like people are choosing ignorance over educating themselves and trying to understand. They hear “transgender” and see “cross dresser” and our society has always held a negative connotation to cross dressers.  But just as not all Native Americans, blacks, hispanics, gays, straights are sick and scary, neither are all transgender individuals. In fact, I think it would be safe to say that they are probably (now) the most misunderstood group in society today.  Since meeting the first trans person I’ve ever known back in 2010, I have been curious as to the DNA implications of a trans person.  I already knew that gender and sex were different- I’ve never believed otherwise- but never knew a trans person personally.  Now I know a few. They are all trans-males; meaning they were born females.  All of them are pre-op (at least as far as their genitals go), but one has had a mastectomy.  Many trans folks have a very hard time completing their SRS (sex reassignment surgery) due to financial constraints- it is NOT cheap, and lots of insurances don’t cover it.  Tgender.net reports that “the average cost for a male-to-female surgery is about $17,000. Adding in a cost of about $1000 for therapy, $1500 for hormones, and $500 for doctors visits and lab tests, the cost to transition averages about $20,000 over a two year transition period.”  Lets just touch on what it takes to transition, shall we??  A person who has documented GID (gender identity disorder) and has been deemed transgender must undergo the following according to the World Professional Organization for Transgender Health:

  • Psychological counseling, for the initial diagnosis, for guidance through the transition, and to obtain the letter required for surgery
  • Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) to adjust their body to their new gender role (this means male-to-female receives estrogen and female-to-male receives testosterone– usually in the form of an injection)
  • Doctor’s office visits in support of HRT. This includes lab work and other monitoring of the HRT………………………………………..(and that’s just the beginning!!  The other things they must choose to do or not do are:)
  • Permanent facial hair removal for transsexual women. This will usually include laser treatments and/or electrolysis on the face and neck, and possibly on the body.
  • Breast augmentation (or prosthesis) for trans women.
  • Bilateral mastectomy and chest reconstruction for transsexual men..
  • A hysterectomy may also be medically indicated for trans men.
  • In many cases, genital reconstruction (also called sex reassignment surgery) is also indicated for both trans men and women.
  • Skin flap hair removal.
  • Penile and testicular prostheses, as necessary for trans men.
  • Certain facial plastic reconstruction as appropriate to the patient.

No one who enters into the process to transition goes into it lightly.  It is an abnormally long and arduous process that, as we see above, can take upwards of 2 years JUST TO START, let alone COMPLETE.  And who’s decision is it to decide what “completed SRS” means??? The brooding, transphobic schmuck who blasts through Target screaming about the detriment to society that they have created by allowing transgender people access to the bathroom corresponding with their gender?? Or some paper pusher on Capitol Hill who really knows nothing about transgender issues in general?? Your guess is really as good as mine, as I am still trying to figure out who gave someone the right to decide what person has completed their transition and what one hasn’t. Its completely absurd to me.  Another argument against trans folks being allowed access to the bathrooms that correspond with their gender that was made in the video I mentioned before is that girls are girls because they are born with “girl anatomy” and “girl DNA.”  Really? Are you sure about that? Are you sure that your daughter won’t grow up to be transgender?? According to Danny Thompson, he is sure. Because as he says “its his ‘job to teach her that she is a girl.’ ”  Well there you have it. A clear-cut statement that PROVES (in my mind, anyway) that GENDER is a societal construct, or at least that people still believe sex and gender to be one and the same.  I mentioned earlier my thoughts about differences in the brain/DNA structure of a trans person.  I had the privilege of finding a fantastic article on transascity.org entitled: “The Transgender Brain.” Within this article is a copious amount of data and research and studies that have been done on trans DNA. I will share the link here and spare you the nitty-gritty. I will, however, touch on a few key points.

The writer touches on many issues, calling it “common sense” points.  The writer IS trans-female, and is also intersexed (but that is another debate entirely), and admits there may be a bias slant to the article, however, it is not without merit and very well researched and cited. In this article, she discusses how the brain and the genitals develop their “gendering” during pregnancy and how the introduction of certain chemicals during the fetal development stage can alter the course. Second, she discusses heredity and its implications in fetal development of sex and gender. Third, she touches on chromosomal effects on sex and gender during pregnancy. Also, she touches on the presence of brain differences in trans and non-trans individuals; and finally discusses the absence of brain differences in trans and non-trans individuals.  I won’t go that in-depth because really, that’s up to you to read about further if you so choose.  For the purpose of my argument, I just really want to refer to her discussion about “gendering” and how it relates to this video– which is really the center of this rant.  I know I have gotten wordy, and I apologize, but this is not an issue ANY of us should take lightly, and education and research should be included if I feel like I want to be taken seriously on the matter. I am not just ranting about boys going into the girls room and how detrimental it is to society… -eye roll-  The father in this video says that he knows his child is a girl because she was born with “girl anatomy” and “girl DNA.” But without doing a gene map and a DNA test, there is no way to definitively tell that anyway. Which brings me to my first point: how can you assume WHAT sex a person was born as, simply by looking at them?  Let’s be honest here, there are plenty of masculine looking women, and feminine looking men.  There are plenty that could really pass for one or the other without knowing what their external genitalia looks like. And just because they were born with one set of genitals, doesn’t make them a boy or a girl.  Take this story for example: David Reimer.  Even though it is related to intersex individuals, it lends to the detriment of making decisions and imposing our own preconceptions about sex and gender onto others, and I think is pertinent to this discussion.  David was born an identical twin in 1965.  Both boys developed issues with their respective genitalia, and had to have surgical procedures to correct the problem.  David had complications and his penis was effectively maimed to the point of being unable to repair. Rather than leave the genital maiming as is until the child was old enough to decide how he wanted to deal with it, the parents COMPLETELY changed the child’s sex and engendered him to be female by raising him as one.  This was accomplished at the behest of a psychologist, and was done with surgical, hormonal and psychological manipulation. This story is unique because the psychologist used this story (tragic in its own right) to confirm his theory of nature/nurture with regard to sex and gender. This theory was blown to bits when David discovered the truth and detransitioned back to a male, and subsequently killed himself.  What this story taught professionals is that there is NO distinct way to “predict” gender identity based on the sex organs a person is born with.  This is BECAUSE sex and gender are not synonymous. Period. And the more society tries to force their own preconceptions of the same onto a person, the more detrimental it becomes to society as a whole.  Let’s go back to the article about “The Transgender Brain…”   We know that the brain and the genitals develop at different times in fetal development, and as a result, a misalignment of sex anatomy and the brain can occur. A fetus develops testosterone and converts it to  dihydrotestosterone during 6 and 12 weeks gestation. This period is CRITICAL to the development of male sex parts (penis, prostate gland, scrotum).  However, the brain does not start to develop until the second trimester, and by then the genitals have already developed. The implications of this are that there can be a subtle physical difference between the male and female brain with prolonged presence of male hormones during this critical stage of development.  Here is a quoted example from the article: (some medical terminology is used):  “Either a 5α-reductase-2 or a 17β-hydroxy-steroid dehydrogenase-3 deficiency will prevent the formation of testosterone into dihydrotestosterone, which will result in an XY karyotype baby girl with a large clitoris. However, when puberty arrives the girl will discover to her alarm that her clitoris grows significantly, her testes descend, and she will begin to take on masculine features. (Bao, Gooren 2006) Even though children with these birth defects are raised as girls, about 60% will become heterosexual males. (Bao) A Brazilian study found that of 25 5α-reductase-2 affected babies who were raised as girls, 13 changed their gender identity to male after puberty. (Gooren, 2006) Another study found that about 50% of 17β-hydroxy-steroid dehydrogenase-3 affected babies changed their gender identity back to male at puberty. (Gooren, 2006) What these results indicate to us is that testosterone likely more directly impacts the organization of the fetal brain than dihydrotestosterone.”  

Ok. With all that being said, I need to clarify that the reason I am going this in-depth with this is to astutely make my case, why it is that we so often look upon trans individuals with such confusion.  It is not THEM that is confused. It is the rest of the world who refuse to see things from any other perspective.  The Bible may have lots of good examples of moral practices, basic life principles, and core values a person should possess. But…transgender individuals didn’t just come out of nowhere. Is that what people really think??! Clearly it is. Just like there weren’t homosexuals during the time of Jesus. Yeah. Ok. And to continue to maintain a religious standpoint on this issue is really not prudent.  This isn’t about religion. And religion and western medicine cannot co-exist. Science can be disputed, but is almost always provable, right or wrong. Genetics are genetics. DNA structure and development is science, not religion.  If there is not a perfect meeting of the multitudes of factors during fetal development, errors occur; some more subtle than others– can we all agree on that?? We have NO WAY of knowing whether a person who was born with male sex organs should have been, or if their gender matches their sex.  People should not be taking INVENTORY of everyone’s genitals at the door to every bathroom in America (or the world for that matter. Trans people don’t exist exclusively in the United States, folks…)  This father in this video talks about “a boy’s right- if he feels like a girl- to go into the girls bathroom.”  What we have all lost sight of is that BOY and GIRL is GENDER. MALE and FEMALE is SEX. And somewhere along the way, someone decided that a person with a penis HAD to be a BOY and couldn’t possibly be anything else.

So…in conclusion, my point is this: those who think that disallowing a trans-female access to the ladies room is not a matter of civil rights is SORELY mistaken.  It very definitively IS a matter of civil rights, as defined by the Cornell’s School of Law; and not only is it a civil right, it is UNEQUIVOCALLY a basic, fundamental, atomic (meaning at its absolute basic) human right. Danny Thompson feels that “the LGBT” (What?!) are confused about what is absolute truth….and I feel that Danny Thompson only cares about HIS absolute truth and not the truth of Lucy Tidd, an 8-year old trans girl from Portland, Maine who recently revealed she was transgender.  Lucy was born a boy, but since the age of 4 had been living as a girl at home. Lucy’s mother said she always remembers her daughter’s preference to “girl” things but admits that they delayed acknowledging it as her truth because they were afraid of society’s reaction, the community’s reaction and the implications for Lucy’s education.  Lucy’s mother describes tantrums and emotional outbursts the longer they discouraged her from seeking her truth. It wasn’t until their “son” looked at them and told them “he” would rather die and come back a girl then continue living as a boy that they realized it wasn’t about them anymore. It was about the emotional well-being of their child.  Their champion was Nicole Maines, also from Maine, who fought for her bathroom rights…AND WON.  Let me say that again: bathroom. rights. Going to the bathroom shouldn’t BE a “right”. Living a genuine, prosperous, happy life IS. And by forcing people to be something they are not is, on its face, a GROSS violation of their basic human rights: “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

I will leave you with this one last thought:

Would you condone someone making an assumption about a person’s gender and try to remove them from the APPROPRIATE bathroom because they wouldn’t show their ID?!? What if their ID said female? What if you still believed she wasn’t a female?  Here is an example:

Were those cops correct?? Did they have a right to ask for ID?? And what IF she had produced ID that corresponded with her “identified” gender (like LOTS of trans folks do) and they STILL didn’t believe her?? Isn’t that the issue here? What if a person is asked (or required) to show ID to gain access to the BATHROOM and it states that this person was female, but they assume, based on her appearance, that she was not?? What then? “Pull down your pants. We have to prove your anatomical sex…”  How would that be legal??

Another point:

If boys belong in boy’s bathrooms, would you want this person in your men’s rooms_1461336982455_1213201_ver1.0

This person is a transgender female. She was born with a penis. Would you know by looking at her?? Would you even THINK to ask the OBSCENELY intrusive question, “Do you have a penis or a vagina?”  Do you think that MAYBE, if you just minded your own damn business, did your own thing, and left you would even NOTICE this person and think she doesn’t belong there???

On the other hand, would a woman want to enter a ladies room and see this:trans male

Not likely!!! What would you do or say if you did?? “GTFO!! YOU DON’T BELONG IN HERE!!!” If I told you that this person was a transgender male, would you believe it?? This is Ben Melzer, and he is now the first OUT and proud transgender FITNESS model on the cover of….wait for it…. MEN’S HEALTH (GASP!) Magazine in Germany.

These pictures speak for themselves. This argument is ridiculous and moot. Danny Thompson needs to seek “absolute truth” and ask for forgiveness for being a transphobic dick. Plain and simple. And I will keep living MY absolute truth and continue to support, protect, and defend my trans friends and fight for what I believe to be truth. TRUTH IS: it’s NO ONE’S BUSINESS what’s in someone’s pants!!! TRUTH IS: you shouldn’t have to FIGHT for the RIGHT to go to the BATHROOM without being subjected to a figurative (or even literal) strip search and emotional rape over it either!!  The argument that doing so will prevent perverts from preying on women and children in the ladies room– notice, there is less issue with trans MALES and more issue with trans FEMALES– is ludicrous and needs to be stopped. The HRC and the ACLU should start putting people in their place and knock this country sideways. Re-educate yourselves on what civil rights are, and take stock in yourself and your archaic preconceptions of sex and gender, and get the HELL out of my bathroom stall.



2 thoughts on “I’M TIRED OF THIS DEBATE!

  1. dover1952 says:

    Anthropologist here. What is the matter with people? I can tell you. Human culture is man’s unique method of adapting to his natural and social environment. Imagine how a lioness would feel if she awakened from a deep sleep and found that her canine teeth and claws had been surgically removed. She would be frightened out of her wits, and for good reason. Her only means of catching food is gone, and she will be unable to survive. People view the loss of cultural customs in the same way because they are our means of surviving—our unique means of adapting to our environment. If the customs people have appear to be working okay for them, then they will resist change for fear that any change will somehow put them in peril directly or have unintended and unforeseen consequences that were not identified and considered prior to making the change. In this particular case, many people, however rightly or wrongly, think LGBTQ people are taking over the United States and imposing on it sins that make their God more angry than any other sin in the Bible. God’s anger was so great at such sin that He destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah with what looked like a nuclear explosion. Christian fundamentalists and conservative evangelicals are scared to death that if LGBTQ marriage and transgender restrooms are approved and most people accept them, God is going to look down from Heaven, become incensed with unimaginable rage, and destroy all the sinners—and the fundies are going to be blamed by God for not stopping it—and they too will be destroyed and swept away as part of what The Pentagon calls “Collateral Damage” in warfare. In other words, changing their cultural adaptation will get them and their neighbors killed and destroyed from ON HIGH.

    This is what they are afraid will happen—no matter how wise or stupid you or I might think they are. It simply is what it is. What it is, in essence, is a Mrs. Carmody reaction to what the fundies view as a very stressful situation, and they are acting like Mrs. Carmody:


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